When you're not really OK
Less than 10 months ago, I got on a plane to Cebu, stayed for a couple of days, then got on another plane to Hong Kong. I stayed another couple of days on my own in Hong Kong and just walked around Nathan Road, feeling the cold, brisk air in my face and ate alone at a Turkish restaurant.
I have never really minded being on my own. The first time I experienced being on my own was when I left home for college. I was 17. Sure I missed my family terribly, I missed having my own ride, and I missed being comfortable in my house. When you go off to college and share a house with 35 other individuals, you're bound to keep to yourself so as not to disturb them, or worse, make enemies of them.
A couple of days in Hong Kong prepared me to get on another plane headed to Mumbai, India. I wasn't even able to stay in Mumbai for an hour. The moment I arrived in Mumbai, I had to look for the check in counter headed to Doha, Qatar.
It was going to be the start of a new life for me. I never really pictured myself going abroad. I wanted to stay in the Philippines and prove that you didn't have to leave the country for a better life. But then, nothing was happening and I felt stuck in a hole (plus a heartbreak helped with the push). I felt that I needed the change in scenery, so I took my mom's offer in working abroad.
Getting the visa was easy, which surprised me, because of all the nightmarish stories that you hear from people. Getting the tickets were very easy. Leaving home, was a little difficult, I was excited, but hesitant at the same time, because 2 years after watching the parents grow older right in front of you, it makes you feel like you have to be around for them.
But they made me realize that I have a life to live too. They wanted me to get out into the world and start my story and not to just continue theirs.
And I did. Everything is new to me right now. And the only thing that came easy for me was getting out of the Philippines, traveling to Hong Kong and Mumbai and ultimately, Doha. Looking for a room was easy too. Looking for a job took a while, but what wasn't easy was the feeling that you are alone. That you don't have anyone close to call or go to.
Ten months abroad and Mom comments on how thin I'm becoming. I lost weight during fasting for the Holy month of Ramadan, and during our occasional fasting weekly. She goes on and says, "You're getting thinner, are you ok?"
And all you can say is, "Yeah, I'm fine." because you don't want them to worry. But you know that they know you're not fine. So they wait until you're ready.
It's tough, but you just gotta keep hanging on, because you really don't have any other option but to be okay. But when you're not okay, there's no other way to become but be okay.
I have never really minded being on my own. The first time I experienced being on my own was when I left home for college. I was 17. Sure I missed my family terribly, I missed having my own ride, and I missed being comfortable in my house. When you go off to college and share a house with 35 other individuals, you're bound to keep to yourself so as not to disturb them, or worse, make enemies of them.
A couple of days in Hong Kong prepared me to get on another plane headed to Mumbai, India. I wasn't even able to stay in Mumbai for an hour. The moment I arrived in Mumbai, I had to look for the check in counter headed to Doha, Qatar.
It was going to be the start of a new life for me. I never really pictured myself going abroad. I wanted to stay in the Philippines and prove that you didn't have to leave the country for a better life. But then, nothing was happening and I felt stuck in a hole (plus a heartbreak helped with the push). I felt that I needed the change in scenery, so I took my mom's offer in working abroad.
Getting the visa was easy, which surprised me, because of all the nightmarish stories that you hear from people. Getting the tickets were very easy. Leaving home, was a little difficult, I was excited, but hesitant at the same time, because 2 years after watching the parents grow older right in front of you, it makes you feel like you have to be around for them.
But they made me realize that I have a life to live too. They wanted me to get out into the world and start my story and not to just continue theirs.
And I did. Everything is new to me right now. And the only thing that came easy for me was getting out of the Philippines, traveling to Hong Kong and Mumbai and ultimately, Doha. Looking for a room was easy too. Looking for a job took a while, but what wasn't easy was the feeling that you are alone. That you don't have anyone close to call or go to.
Ten months abroad and Mom comments on how thin I'm becoming. I lost weight during fasting for the Holy month of Ramadan, and during our occasional fasting weekly. She goes on and says, "You're getting thinner, are you ok?"
And all you can say is, "Yeah, I'm fine." because you don't want them to worry. But you know that they know you're not fine. So they wait until you're ready.
It's tough, but you just gotta keep hanging on, because you really don't have any other option but to be okay. But when you're not okay, there's no other way to become but be okay.
Be safe and careful
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